Thursday, June 8, 2017


I'm probably writing this prematurely.  I think if I ruminated on it a bit longer I might have a more meaningful post but then I'd risk the loss of the emotion behind it.  So I'll just dive in since that's typically how I roll.

I don't have many in-the-flesh friends.  You know, the ones you can call when your car breaks down or invite over just to laugh.  But I do have some of-the-heart friends. Those are the ones who you can turn to when your heart aches.  What I wish for is at least one in-the-flesh-of-the-heart friend.

When I was single, after divorcing my first husband, I had a real problem because the couples friends we had no longer worked.  I didn't want anyone to feel like they needed to make a choice so for the most part I just walked away from everyone.  I was changing.  For the most part it was probably better that way.  I did keep one friend but it was very distant for many years and still isn't close like it used to be.  I was miserable until I made some single-gal friends then all was well again.

After I got married (Bob) I retained a couple single-gal friends but it seems that it didn't take long before those relationships just sort of withered away like a plant that was no longer watered.  Still, that was OK for a long time.  Then I went to university and met Glenda.  She was as friendless as I was and we had lots in common.  You might say it was love at first sight.  We did everything together and our husbands got along well too - bonus!  It was the best thing ever!

Unfortunately, after a few years she moved back to Texas, got divorced, and had interests in a new direction. I think she lost herself for a few years.  But since then she remarried (same husband) and is now one of those who I can reconnect with after long periods and we're just as close as ever.  We just have to catch up on all the happenings.  But there are still many, many miles between us.

I have people who live in my computer that I consider of-the-heart friends. And a year ago some of them became in-the-flesh friends too (BAR).  Unfortunately, it was only for a weekend.  But what happened is that it really brought to my attention my need for a in-the-flesh-of-the-heart friend.

I have recently expanded outside my normal TEENY TINY circle of people I come into contact with in hopes of finding another Glenda. I've been getting involved with a very small political group of like minded women.  So far I haven't identified another Glenda so I will look for more opportunities to expand in other directions.  There has to be another one out there somewhere.

In the meantime, I am really looking forward to August when I will reunite with my friends NC and K10.  As for the rest of you who live in my computer and are of-the-heart friends, you are more important to me then I let on.



  1. didn't need to wait to write this is is PURRFECT as Madi would say. I love it and the sentiment and I understand what you mean. While working I had lots of acquaintances but only a handful of heart friends. I'm thankful to say those 3 ladies and I always manage to have lunch at least once a month. And one of them's husband is a good friend of Bcats so we go out as a couple too.
    Please give NC and K10 a hug for me in August and NC and K10 you two hug NC for me.
    Anyone reading that sentence who did not attend BAR 2016, is probably scratching their head in confusion.
    Hugs HiC

  2. Hugs. I am blessed with 2 in the flesh friends who I don't see as often as I would like but as my BFF says 'will come and help you move the body no questions asked. ' I have never had more than that. I hope you find an in the flesh friend soon and wish I lived closer!

    On a totally different note - love your header.

  3. I understand - I'm what my husband refers to as a "gregarious loner" as I prefer my own company (and his) to much of the world. My best friend's partner of many years has retired and they will be moving to Texas. That's going to be hard. So Blogville and all of you here have been a blessing - getting me out of my books and just having fun as we connect.

  4. Hari OM
    Hearing you... &*>

    I can identify with much of what you say; even my own two 'heart-flesh' pals have become distant and I know that it is a large part due to my moving ever-forward within (as well as miles apart physically), but also others getting stuck (or clinging to) where they have always been (both within and physically). True friends can be there in a moment, or for a lifetime, but their key quality will be a lack of selfishness and an ability to agree to disagree, to be supportive but also honest... and who help us to be better than we thought we could be.

    May your open heart draw that special 'pal in the furs' that you need!
    Eyes-on... YAM xx

  5. I have never made friends easily, and do have one "Heart-flesh" friend who lives on the other side of the country in PA...but nowadays she is more of an "in the computer" friend. In other words...I get it :-).

    I sure wish I lived in Utah ;-). In the meantime, can't wait to see you and K-10 in August!

  6. Close friends are special and should be cherished whether in 'the flesh' or 'computer friends'
    I so wish we could all meet up 'in the furs' easily and often


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